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Dear Jonathan,
Who knew that Human Rights First activists were also talented comedians? In honor of John McCain's April Fools' Day appearance on David Letterman, we asked you to help us put together a Letterman-style Top Ten list: Top Ten Signs We Finally Have an Anti-Torture President. And what a response! There were far more brilliant submissions than we ever imagined. But as promised, our judges have compiled the 10 best, which we're sending in to Letterman (as he encourages viewers to do). Also check out our Jack Bauer video delivery of the Top Ten. And here it is: Top Ten Signs We Finally Have an Anti-Torture President 10) The President goes waterskiing instead of waterboarding. —Jill – Redding, Connecticut 9) Grand opening of the "Sandals Guantanamo Bay Beach Resort". —James - South Orange, New Jersey 8) "Stress Positions" are only for Corporate CEOs, and the phrase "torture memo" refers only to long, painfully boring email sent by superiors. —Janis - Sunland, California and Megan - Rohnert Park, California 7) "Enhanced interrogation techniques" now defined as ordinary techniques filmed in HD. —Megan - Rohnert Park, California 6) The phrase "Extraordinary Rendition" now used to describe American Idol performances. —Joseph - San Diego, California 5) Jack Bauer starts acting more like his brother, Eddie. —Travis and Benjamin - Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 4) "Secret detention" means not telling your parents you had detention. —James - South Orange, New Jersey 3) Calling Geneva Conventions "quaint" now seen as quaint. —Megan - Rohnert Park, California 2) "I can finally stop wearing my 'Who Would Jesus Torture?' bracelet." —Sarah – New York, New York 1) Superman no longer having to fight for truth, justice and the Canadian way. —Edward - Los Angeles, California The only thing that would make it better is Paul Shaffer cackling in the background. Thanks to everyone who participated in the contest. Not only were your responses hilarious, they were also extremely thoughtful. The Top Ten list emphasizes the absurdity that torture is even considered by the current administration as a viable interrogation technique. Eliminating torture will be a sign of American strength, not weakness. Human Rights First's Elect to End Torture '08 campaign is about ensuring that our next President puts an end to all policies that open the door to torture and cruel treatment. We're grateful for both your serious commitment to our campaign ... and also your sense of humor. Remember to check out the Top Ten Signs We Finally Have an Anti-Torture President on video. Sincerely, Sharon Kelly Campaign Manager
Elect to End Torture '08 | 
Tell-a-friend!
